What does value mean?

What gives something value? Is it a high price tag? Is it demand? Or is it something more?

People give things value. It's never quite the object itself, but the thing that the object represents, or the sentiment behind it that really makes an item valuable to us.

The simplest thing can have high value to a person. I may think a seashell is the most valuable thing in the world, if it was given to me by a dear friend who is no longer with me. That seashell represents the bond between that person and I, regardless of the fact that is one of millions, and if it were still sitting on the beach it would likely mean nothing.

Perhaps I think a BMW has value. Not for the high price tag, but for the thing it represents. That I have "made it" in life and I have proof. That I am able to have luxuries if I want them.

I have become more sentimental in recent years, and sometimes think my life was easier before I developed my sense of sentimentality.

When I was young we didn't have much. We moved a lot, and I was forced to live a life where you didn't attach yourself to things. This included items, homes, neighborhoods, and friends. I developed a thick skin so that when these things went away (which the inevitably did) it would hurt less.

I also had a few items that I was able to carry with me, even as my life changed, and I developed such sentiment for those that I truly believe my heart might have stopped had they ever been taken from me.

This imbalance between creating zero attachment, and fierce attachment has become less as the years have gone on. Now that I'm an adult, and I'm living my own life. Now that things are more stable. But, this has also meant that I have learned to be more sentimental about things in general.

Today, I am sentimental about places, and things and people. Photographs and the shirt I wore on the night of my first date with someone, or the wrapping paper I used to wrap his gift on our first Christmas together. I look at these items and I have the memories, and I feel sentimental.

But I have to ask myself why.

These are only objects.

And I give them value because I care for the person I associate them. But truly, I am either holding on to something that has been lost, trying to find it again in an object, which only leads to my own suffering, or I am pouring attachment and sentiment into objects instead of into people, which just doesn't seem right to me.

I've always been a reflective person. Quiet. Thoughtful. I've always looked at the things around me, and tried to really consider how important they were. But perhaps I've developed into a person who makes things more important than they truly are; and by allowing my memories to reside in objects I displace my sentiments and give things value that truly have none.

What gives something value? It's up to you. We can convince ourselves of anything if we try hard enough. We can feel attachment or sentiment for anything if we choose to. We can also choose not to care so much. Not to place value in things. But to value feelings and experiences.

People.

The sound of a dream dying

What sound does a dream make when it dies? Is it a weep, a sigh, or nothing at all. It it the sound of footsteps receding, or a breeze over water? Perhaps it depends on the dream itself. Who the dream belonged to, and where the dream existed. Perhaps there is no sound, only silence, booming through the empty place where the dream once was. A reminder of what was lost.

Does the dream put up a fight? Is it aware of the impending doom? Does it struggle to alert the relevant parties, to prepare them for it's departure? Or does it simply fade away? Or perhaps, even, it departs abruptly. A door slamming behind it. It is gone.

As humans we can't know what happens to the dream. We only know that at a certain point it has died. We can no longer deny it's absence. And we have to mourn the loss in the best way we know how. To put to rest, something intangible, that seemed so close and so immediate. To let go of something that we held so dearly.

Making the most of it: 2009 and beyond

A friend said that he would dub 2009 "The Year of TM", and I thought that was one of the nicer gifts anyone has ever given me.

For the new year, I wish many things. First and foremost, health and happiness. They do go hand-in-hand in a way, and it seems that with them, all of other things will fall into place.

I also wish that I'll do a better job of finding inner peace. Of not worrying so much about making other people happy. Of standing my ground when I know something isn't right.

I saw the movie Doubt yesterday. It made me realize that everyone in this world has doubts. None of us can really ever know what another person is thinking. And even more than that, no single person is ever truly certain of anything.

A line in the movie said "Certainty is an emotion, not a fact" and I think that is very much true. We choose to believe what we want to believe and can convince ourselves of anything if we try hard enough.

I would like to make 2009 a year of honesty.